So tonight post, goes solely to the most wonderful guy on Earth, Abdul qayyum bin Mohamed Eunos since I can't sleep. I'm really happy with qayyum. Thinking about him just bring a smile on my face. Our relationship is almost perfect. I love our dates. Despite being together for a year, leaving was never an option. I can't imagine living without qayyum. How we spice up our relationship each time we meet, how we discover new ways to please each and especially, how we learn to love each other more each day, it's just wonderful and magical. He's the most patient guy I've ever met. Not even once, he has raised his voice to me even how mad he is. Except for this one time when he hung up on me -.-
Last Saturday, we celebrated our anniversary. Haha, funny. The picnic spot we choose was visited by swans, we were attacked by mosquito, watched movie in the sun and got lost in the garden for an hour. Sounds bad right? But I had fun really. I realized that even how bad things are, as long as qayyum by my side, everything seems okay. I can be trapped in a deserted island or something, but please bring me qayyum. He even make me an anniversary card. It's really really sweet. I love it a lot. ☺☺☺
Abang keep sending me pictures of someone today. And suddenly it got me thinking, if I'm given a chance to go to the day where maybe I could work things out with him, would I? No I wouldn't. I wouldn't want to go back to the life I used to had. Why should I? I found the guy I've always wanted. Qayyum treat me 100 times better. And I'll show you why.
-he doesn't talk to girls.
-he doesn't have social networks
-his attention is all mine.
-he's always there for me.
I bet all girlfriends are dying for these traits to be in theirs. Well, too bad. He is all mine. We watched les miserable today and qayyum was just annoyed throughout the movie cause there wasn't any real dialog. It's purely musical. But I love the movie. Cried towards the ending. Qayyum didn't feel a thing. I'm dating a robot -.- but he loves me. I know cause I can feel it. Especially when he say, "sayang, I sayang you tau. Really really sayang you"
I know even if this doesn't last, I will never ever love any other guy as much as I love him. :) there will be too much memories to erase. Cause he's the one who finally took the pain away that I've been feeling for years. The one who managed to take all those painful memories away that happened during sec sch. The one who managed to stop the nightmares that I get every single night since I graduated.
Love you, Abdul Qayyum. 😘
Labels: Under our umbrella :)
I'm embarrassed, disappointed, freaked out, paranoid and sad beyond words. No one understands me, no one will. It came crashing down. All the pride, respect and reputation I tried to uphold, gone down the drain. All my efforts wasted. I don't think I can ever face anyone ever again. I want to run away from here. Far far away till no one remember my existence and I don't need to expect anyone to care about me. Life... Once again, you've managed to bring me down. Tumbling down to the floor. No one will ever get it. No one will ever know what I went through. No one will. Not even qayyum. A wonderful guy like him deserve the best girl, not a screwed up one like me, with shallow minded dad and sister. Once again, I gave up. What's the point of putting so much effort and some people just need to come and throw it down the drain. I gave up. I'm not going to do anything anymore. Let this misery reverse by itself. Ya Allah, please I'm begging you, I don't want to lose qayyum cause of some stupid stuffs that I don't even want at the first place. Our relationship is perfect. I don't want family presence to destroy the happiness that we have. I'm weak, I'm not strong enough to face this.
F.
Labels: Mercy.
I've made a conclusion, I cannot be mad nor distance myself from this guy here. So my last post is like a "macam faham" punyer post. Just look at this guy, how can you possible be mad at him. Even if I repeatedly shout or scold him, he will never ever raise his voice even a little at me. This guy is definitely a keeper. I'm too attached to him that I really can't afford to stay mad for long. Our fights will only last for a few hours or a day max cause maybe he feels the same way. But sometimes, I feel like he abuses the fact that he knows I'll always be there. Nevertheless, there's going to be changes here and there.
vs
Looking at both pictures, its like looking at the handsome and beast. Look at me, i'm like a greedy pig. Look at how qayyum eat his ice cream, so cute lah c'mon. Its like you just want to cuddle cuddle this guy in your arms like a teddy bear and never let go. Just imagine my self-control. Okay lah, don't judge me. I'm just obsessed over my own boyfriend. Btw, I think he's the first ever guy I'm obsessed about beside kyle patrick lah. hahaha! I told qayyum that my blog post about him was gone and he made a conclusion that someone who are jealous of us, deleted it. Cmon lah, no one else have a special interest in me anymore. Maybe cause they know they can never beat my boyfriend :P
p.s I still haven't start on my lesson slides. Doomed.
Farhana.
I look fair in this pic eh. SO NOT. why must qayyum always be the fairer one -.-
F.
These pictures are taken from my tumblr. Not that I don't want to have long post there, its just that I don't want my long post to be on anyone timeline. "you'll never understand, till it happens to you" I guess, its true to some extent. For someone who went through it short term and gain what they want after awhile, they will also tend to appreciate what they have short term too. And after that, take everything for granted. I think it works best, it happen to you for a longer period. Distancing for a longer period. Cause then, after you got close back together, then I hope you'll tend to appreciate my presence more? Or maybe just like everyone else, you'll just forget me. But hey, that's life. You can't stop it repeating the same old pattern all over again. And you'll just have to face it again. I don't understand what i'm feeling and I don't wish to.
I have yet start on my lessons presentation slides. I really have to start on it right away. Without Microsoft powerpoint, I'm doomed actually. But that's okay. Cause when there's a will, there's a way.
Farhana!
So, I've been reading all the past blog posts and its all about my relationship with Aidil. Things that I've actually forgot long time ago.. Well, a year has passed and things are really different now. I'm with qayyum now. And we have been together for almost a year now. I can go on and blog about how wonderful my life is now with him and all that. But I won't. Cause we have our own tumblr to do that. And reading my old blog posts, I posted how wonderful my relationship all with Aidil but in the end, it all ended. I've never regretted the decision I've made cause I know it was the best for both of us. He definitely deserve better and I've found perfection in qayyum. Qayyum is just so wonderful.
I doubt that anyone still reads this blog so I find it safe to post anything here as if its private. It's 2.55am now and I'm still wide awake cause of this stupid high fever and nausea. I hate being sick. Especially on my date with qayyum since he is only free on weekends. It totally sucks. I was sick a week before alevel too. Alevel.. Haha, shall not talk about it. Qayyum birthday is coming in week, followed by our anniversary and my birthday. Talking about my birthday, I'm kind of envy of those who has more than one birthday celebration surprises. The last time I had that was sec 4. I miss getting that attention from people. I miss being significant in people life. It's like everyone is so free for each other but they're so busy for me. Since I entered AJC, my life has changed tremendously. All the attention that I used to get, is just gone. People say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well, in my case, it's more like distance and absence makes people forget me instead of missing me.
Farhana! ;)
Labels: The irony of perfection.
