I'm embarrassed, disappointed, freaked out, paranoid and sad beyond words. No one understands me, no one will. It came crashing down. All the pride, respect and reputation I tried to uphold, gone down the drain. All my efforts wasted. I don't think I can ever face anyone ever again. I want to run away from here. Far far away till no one remember my existence and I don't need to expect anyone to care about me. Life... Once again, you've managed to bring me down. Tumbling down to the floor. No one will ever get it. No one will ever know what I went through. No one will. Not even qayyum. A wonderful guy like him deserve the best girl, not a screwed up one like me, with shallow minded dad and sister. Once again, I gave up. What's the point of putting so much effort and some people just need to come and throw it down the drain. I gave up. I'm not going to do anything anymore. Let this misery reverse by itself. Ya Allah, please I'm begging you, I don't want to lose qayyum cause of some stupid stuffs that I don't even want at the first place. Our relationship is perfect. I don't want family presence to destroy the happiness that we have. I'm weak, I'm not strong enough to face this.
F.
Labels: Mercy.
